Why worry, January

January was about facing my own demons, owning up to responsibilities, strengthening friendships, and going places.

Makati Skyline

I knew this year would blow my mind away – I claimed it before it even started. What I forgot to consider was,’mind blowing’ is ‘like a double-sided tape,’ there are obviously two sides. Yah, double-edged sword is so ancient, we need to improvise and be up to date.

The first year of the month marked shattering of conventions, going out of my way to meet new people, and allotting more offline time with friends. It meant spending hours on the road exchanging crazy, quotable ideas about anything under the sun. It entailed putting my guard down and letting people, whom I have always kept at an arm’s length, closer. I was more open to laughing at myself and the mistakes I’ve done along the way, with the recognition that this year I’m not only older, but wiser.

Old wounds were forced open by the universe’s weird sense of humour- and this time, I was pushed head on to completely nurse them to healing. I was also made to look at my scars, reminisce where I got them, and appreciate how the lessons those scars brought made me a more awesome version of my self.

The first month of the year taught me that sometimes, it takes a stranger, or rather a new friend, to give you the answers you have been waiting to hear from someone who used to mean the world to you. I was wondering why – maybe because the stranger thought he had nothing to lose by being upfront. On one hand, maybe that important person should have been more honest because he had a lot more to lose (or so I thought). But the stranger did not lose; he gained a new friend, and he gained respect.

January also meant moving out and moving in, letting go and embracing change more openly.

Last month was also a reminder of how much my parents trust and love me. But it was also a manifestation that I’ll always be their little and only girl. No complaints here, but appreciation and gratitude that they have allowed me to spread my wings and find myself through myself. They have given me the freedom to finally explore the world on my own, but not alone.

Conversations shared with friends during our traditional ‘feelings hour’, and mostly with the courage gained under the influence of alcohol, showed how much the real world has changed us. Hints of being jaded, tired, confused, and being fed up can be sensed during the banters, but they do not mean we have given up. We just grew tired of our rose-coloured lenses. We have been through shit, and made it this far. Our scars do not mean we are weak, they are undeniable reminders that we fought hard and survived – and will continue to live like there won’t be beer and bacon tomorrow.

Hello February, what do you have in store?

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